The evolution of emotion: A process of surrender

'Your higher mind contains a blueprint of your full business potential, and it is constantly revealing the fastest path for its fulfillment to you, through the images, impulses, and feelings of desire you have' - Lenka Lutonska.

 We live in a world of cycles. Ever since I started journaling about my emotions, I realized a certain pattern. I believe the emotions that happen to us come in cycles, and it is our job to make sure that our emotions are evolving, not just coming back as the same emotions.

 A few months ago on a weekend, I woke up to an overwhelming feeling of sadness and despair. I was fed up with my life financially, I thought of myself as 'unlucky' because most of the ventures that I had taken up had not matured into something I was proud of. I was also stuck in a business I do not really enjoy, but had to do it anyway. I was really sad that the business that was actually sustaining me wasn't doing as well as I would want it to be. I cried hard, and I noticed that my whole body was in distress as I was crying. It was as if my whole body was participating in the crying. That same day, I came across a book by Lenka Lutonska called energetic selling and marketing, which blew my mind. She was talking about a different approach to marketing, and was stressing the fact that 'your business is a reflection of your energy.' This hit me pretty hard so I dusted myself up and decided to work on my energetic approach to whatever business I work on. 

A few weeks afterward on a weekend again, I felt like that feeling came back again, but this time it felt a bit different. See, I had decided that I wanted to pursue something that would be an expression of my truth, but I had no idea what that could be. I was still a bit stuck in my current business, but somehow I didn't care, and that was weird to me. How can I not care? Anything that threatens my survival process I knew I had to pay attention to, but somehow, I didn't care. Hence the weird feeling. I remember I was doing my morning exercise, But I could not stop crying. I could feel this cry in my body too. I wasn't really sad or in despair, I was more shocked at the courage I seemed to have to continue. 

Exactly 1 week later on a weekend, I had a completely different feeling. After doing my daily yoga practice I sat on my couch and tears of ecstasy flooded my eyes. I call them tears of joy because I did not feel it in my body. My body was totally still, but my head was bursting into tears. I could not control it. I was extremely happy for absolutely no reason. At the beginning of that week, I realized my love for writing. As I was trying to perfect my trading, I realized that I enjoyed the journaling part of trading way more than the actual trading. So, I decided to pursue writing as a passion. It is on that weekend that I burst into tears of joy. I loved the feeling, so I just went with it and began my writing journey the following week.

This past weekend, exactly 1 week later, I felt yet another feeling, this time it was nervousness. We can say I had butterflies in my stomach. I had told myself that I would write on a daily basis including on the weekends, but this weekend,  I decided to sit and just experience this nervous feeling. I thought to myself how I had effortlessly put my truth out there. I wondered who is reading my weird stories, or if my content is helping anyone. I wondered if my stories would one day reach many people, if they are relatable, or if they are even relevant at all. I realized that the feeling of sadness and despair had evolved into what I was feeling, and I was very grateful to be feeling the nervousness of the stories I put out, instead of feeling sad because of financial distress. I'm still figuring out my business for survival, but I can feel my passion for writing grow every day. 

The whole thing feels like a process of surrender. It's almost as if my inner being is calling me out to release whatever resistance I feel on my path to achieving what I want. I have to surrender whatever beliefs I have about myself that block my path to greatness. I now understand that negative emotion is only an indication of temporary separation from source, and when we work on this connection then we progressively surrender all negative emotion and that is why I think our emotion evolves.

It is my wish that you too, in your journey of awareness will see the cyclical nature of emotions, and consciously strive to see them evolve, instead of repeating themselves over and over. It is very pleasing to realize that we can make our lives more linear than cyclic through spiritual practice and by doing this we are definitely evolving faster. 

Thats it for now, feel free to comment if anything resonates, I'll be glad to hear from you. peace out ✌